How often do you judge others? Be honest, and I will too… pretty often. In fact, the world we’re brought up in today almost encourages judgment. Everyone has an opinion about someone’s style, work ethic, beliefs, lifestyle, and choices.
But what are these judgments really saying? Nothing. Nothing at all really because there are just opinions and opinions are not facts. “When you judge others, you do no define them, you define yourself as someone who needs to judge (Dr. Wayne Dyer).” When I read this a light bulb instantly went off! Who am I to judge anyone? I’m just as flawed as the next person trying to figure out this life on earth. And it’s true, judgment on a person does not change who they are… mostly it just separates you from ever having a connection to them. Who knows what kinds of amazing relationships I could be blocking by keeping people away with judgment. Everyone has the choice to live their life in the way they see fit and it’s not our place to say whether that is right or wrong.
But this also applies to judgment passed on us from others. Again, we can’t control what others think, feel, or put on us. However, we can control the way we respond and receive feedback. Ultimately, if you feel you’re being judged you have to know deep down that what they’re saying really doesn’t matter. So many people constantly try to dictate where you life should go, what you should be doing, how you should be doing it, and so on. But only you know what’s best for you. Only you have the guide of your emotions telling you whether or not you’re headed in the right direction. And if you feel good then that’s all that matters. Nothing else matters but feeling good- today- not tomorrow… right now! When people throw judgment into your field you have to view them as opinions and that’s all.
I’ve been thinking about why I judge people and the answer is simple… to feed my own ego. It almost always comes down to the ego. You feel better when you “think” you are above someone. But do you really feel better at the end of the day or does your ego? Because they are two separate entities. Your ego masks everything true about you by seeking the approval of others and weighing your worth on accomplishments, accolades, and achievements. Your ego must prove to everyone else how important you are… trust me, I know all about the ego. What about proving to yourself how important you are? Well, if we can make others feel less about themselves then surely we will feel more powerful, right?! Of course, most people don’t consciously think this way but subconsciously that is what we’re really doing.
You see, our ego is counterintuitive because feeding it actually makes you starved like an insatiable thirst that can’t be quenched. Our ego- always without a doubt- separates us from love, abundance, and self-respect. There’s no fulfillment to filling your ego, just constant ravenous hunger. When you have self-respect for yourself you don’t need an ego that always has to win because you have already won. You don’t need to seek the approval of others because you approve of yourself. You know that the Universe, which we are all connected to, loves you no matter what. You aren’t hungry… you’re full.
That’s why when we judge ourselves and others we are basically saying, “Everything is WRONG in the world! God is wrong!” But is it? Or is that just how we choose to perceive it? Perception is everything… would it be so terrible to perceive everyone like they are capable of great feats. Imagine if everyone was instilled with this belief, with this mindset, or we saw the infinite possibilities in everyone. Envision others treating you this way and you can feel how this effect would be contagious. Spread encouragement, hope, and joy and that’s what you’ll receive back in your life because you know that judgment is worthless.
This is something I know I definitely need to work on but by being consciously aware of my judgments towards others I’m slowly chipping away at my own ego. I want to see the best in everyone, to encourage people’s dreams, motivations, and desires. In the end, that’s all that matters. And when I’m living in a state of non-judgment I have an easier time of not letting judgment affect my own life.
Have you felt judged recently? Or passed the judgment unknowingly? I’d love to hear in the comments.
“How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove that splinter from your eye,’ while the wooden beam is in your eye?” – Matthew
“People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves.” ― Albert Camus