Saturday, November 24, 2012

Give the Gift of Presence


“Tweet, tweet, ring, ding, buzzzzzzzz… buzzzzz…”  The symphony of Smartphones begins.  Today is another day where we’re constantly barraged with information, constant connection, and opportunity.  If you don’t have a smartphone you’re behind the times.  I remember when I first got my sleek iPhone I kept saying, “How did I ever live without this?”   They have everything you could ever want: your camera, music library, gps, phone, alarm clock, calendar, reminders, email… anything you can think of.  Amazing, right?!  Of course it is!  We are living in an age where tasks get done at lighting speed.  An age where communication is best received over email, phone calls are vanishing, and face to face interactions are rare.  There’s too much to do!  Thankfully our smartphones help us get it all done. 

And I’m absolutely thankful for my smartphone.  But I also find myself missing out on life sometimes.  By being connected to everything I’m actually not connecting to anything.  Just the other day I was having lunch with a teacher I hadn’t seen in a couple months and halfway through I realized we were both checking our phone with every little buzz and jungle. 

“Tell me about your students!?” I ask.  Buzz….  My eyes quickly dart to the screen without hesitation. 

“They’re great…. Project… learning a lot,” I hear her reply. 

“Uh huh, that’s great!”  I respond.  Send! “What’s the project about?”  …Then comes the realization that I wasn’t listening at all.  How could I?  How can anyone be in two places at once?  It’s impossible.  But wait, that person who texted needs a response!  If I don’t send that email right away the opportunity may pass!  Well, yeah, but I have to take this call!  I get it, I really do.  And that’s what’s so difficult, balancing responsibilities while staying present in the moment.  So how do we do it?

First, by being aware.  The greatest gift you can give anyone is your presence… period.  And don’t they deserve it?  Well, you do too.  You see when we’re constantly worried about the future, or answering so and so immediately, we’re never truly living in the present moment.  Sure, we’re “focused” on the person before us, but our mind is somewhere else.  Our mind is focused on the million things we have to accomplish, the people who are waiting to hear from us, the pins on pinterest; meanwhile, life is passing before our eyes, or before our smartphones. 

This summer when I was in Cape Cod my friends and I decided to have ONE day where we hid our phones and all the clocks.  We made a vow that we would disconnect from the world… a smartphone fast.  What’s so hard about that?!   The day started and we had no idea what time is was… the day ended and still we had no idea what time it was.  The only thing we did know is that we had been absolutely present in every given moment.  Our thoughts seemed to live in peace.  We connected to each other in ways we hadn’t before.  We were forced to have real human interactions.  In the end, we were more than grateful that we buried our smartphones. 

Now, that was on a Sunday, and when Monday rolled around we started the rat race again.  You can’t bury your smartphone and become invisible to the world around you.  But can we have a better sense of awareness?  Can we give the gift of our presence to someone?  By thinking, “The little buzz, phone call, and tweet can wait,” you’re actually saying, “You are important to me!”  Nothing is more important than the person before you or the life around you.  Take it in and you’ll find yourself more alive than ever… present to receive life’s presents. 

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Whenever you meet anyone, no matter how briefly, do you acknowledge their being by giving them your full attention? Or do you reduce them to a means to an end, a mere function or role? A moment of attention is enough. You are no longer acting out a script, you become real."

-Eckhart Tolle


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