Showing posts with label Presence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Presence. Show all posts

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Judgment Is Fun... Right?!


How often do you judge others?  Be honest, and I will too… pretty often.  In fact, the world we’re brought up in today almost encourages judgment.  Everyone has an opinion about someone’s style, work ethic, beliefs, lifestyle, and choices.    

But what are these judgments really saying?  Nothing.  Nothing at all really because there are just opinions and opinions are not facts.  “When you judge others, you do no define them, you define yourself as someone who needs to judge (Dr. Wayne Dyer).”  When I read this a light bulb instantly went off!  Who am I to judge anyone?  I’m just as flawed as the next person trying to figure out this life on earth.  And it’s true, judgment on a person does not change who they are… mostly it just separates you from ever having a connection to them.  Who knows what kinds of amazing relationships I could be blocking by keeping people away with judgment.  Everyone has the choice to live their life in the way they see fit and it’s not our place to say whether that is right or wrong. 

But this also applies to judgment passed on us from others.  Again, we can’t control what others think, feel, or put on us.  However, we can control the way we respond and receive feedback.  Ultimately, if you feel you’re being judged you have to know deep down that what they’re saying really doesn’t matter.  So many people constantly try to dictate where you life should go, what you should be doing, how you should be doing it, and so on.  But only you know what’s best for you.  Only you have the guide of your emotions telling you whether or not you’re headed in the right direction.  And if you feel good then that’s all that matters.  Nothing else matters but feeling good- today- not tomorrow… right now!  When people throw judgment into your field you have to view them as opinions and that’s all. 

I’ve been thinking about why I judge people and the answer is simple… to feed my own ego.  It almost always comes down to the ego.  You feel better when you “think” you are above someone.  But do you really feel better at the end of the day or does your ego?  Because they are two separate entities.  Your ego masks everything true about you by seeking the approval of others and weighing your worth on accomplishments, accolades, and achievements.  Your ego must prove to everyone else how important you are… trust me, I know all about the ego.  What about proving to yourself how important you are?  Well, if we can make others feel less about themselves then surely we will feel more powerful, right?!  Of course, most people don’t consciously think this way but subconsciously that is what we’re really doing.

You see, our ego is counterintuitive because feeding it actually makes you starved like an insatiable thirst that can’t be quenched. Our ego- always without a doubt- separates us from love, abundance, and self-respect.  There’s no fulfillment to filling your ego, just constant ravenous hunger.  When you have self-respect for yourself you don’t need an ego that always has to win because you have already won.  You don’t need to seek the approval of others because you approve of yourself.  You know that the Universe, which we are all connected to, loves you no matter what.  You aren’t hungry… you’re full. 

That’s why when we judge ourselves and others we are basically saying, “Everything is WRONG in the world!  God is wrong!”  But is it?  Or is that just how we choose to perceive it? Perception is everything… would it be so terrible to perceive everyone like they are capable of great feats.  Imagine if everyone was instilled with this belief, with this mindset, or we saw the infinite possibilities in everyone.  Envision others treating you this way and you can feel how this effect would be contagious.  Spread encouragement, hope, and joy and that’s what you’ll receive back in your life because you know that judgment is worthless.  

This is something I know I definitely need to work on but by being consciously aware of my judgments towards others I’m slowly chipping away at my own ego.  I want to see the best in everyone, to encourage people’s dreams, motivations, and desires.  In the end, that’s all that matters.  And when I’m living in a state of non-judgment I have an easier time of not letting judgment affect my own life. 

Have you felt judged recently?  Or passed the judgment unknowingly?  I’d love to hear in the comments. 

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 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove that splinter from your eye,’ while the wooden beam is in your eye?” – Matthew

“People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves.”  Albert Camus


Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Let Out Your Song

Here's a little poem I wrote last night... how does it speak to you?  

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A Heroes journey through the foot hills,
Past the lilacs and daffodils
A wanderer with a goal
To find his missing soul.
No burning expectation
Just quiet deliberation.
Mindful opulence,
Blissful presence.
Childlike wonderment.
Pure bewilderment.

Sends out his vibration across the land
Thoughts bring objects to his hand.
Mountains move, the world then bends.
His visions cleared, the earth sends
What he was seeking all along,
Once he let out his song.
The note soars past mortar and brick
Reaching minds faster than quick.
To the sound of his voice calling within.
Finally trusting himself to begin.

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How can you let out your song today?  I would love to hear... 

"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song."  -Lou Holtz





Saturday, November 24, 2012

Give the Gift of Presence


“Tweet, tweet, ring, ding, buzzzzzzzz… buzzzzz…”  The symphony of Smartphones begins.  Today is another day where we’re constantly barraged with information, constant connection, and opportunity.  If you don’t have a smartphone you’re behind the times.  I remember when I first got my sleek iPhone I kept saying, “How did I ever live without this?”   They have everything you could ever want: your camera, music library, gps, phone, alarm clock, calendar, reminders, email… anything you can think of.  Amazing, right?!  Of course it is!  We are living in an age where tasks get done at lighting speed.  An age where communication is best received over email, phone calls are vanishing, and face to face interactions are rare.  There’s too much to do!  Thankfully our smartphones help us get it all done. 

And I’m absolutely thankful for my smartphone.  But I also find myself missing out on life sometimes.  By being connected to everything I’m actually not connecting to anything.  Just the other day I was having lunch with a teacher I hadn’t seen in a couple months and halfway through I realized we were both checking our phone with every little buzz and jungle. 

“Tell me about your students!?” I ask.  Buzz….  My eyes quickly dart to the screen without hesitation. 

“They’re great…. Project… learning a lot,” I hear her reply. 

“Uh huh, that’s great!”  I respond.  Send! “What’s the project about?”  …Then comes the realization that I wasn’t listening at all.  How could I?  How can anyone be in two places at once?  It’s impossible.  But wait, that person who texted needs a response!  If I don’t send that email right away the opportunity may pass!  Well, yeah, but I have to take this call!  I get it, I really do.  And that’s what’s so difficult, balancing responsibilities while staying present in the moment.  So how do we do it?

First, by being aware.  The greatest gift you can give anyone is your presence… period.  And don’t they deserve it?  Well, you do too.  You see when we’re constantly worried about the future, or answering so and so immediately, we’re never truly living in the present moment.  Sure, we’re “focused” on the person before us, but our mind is somewhere else.  Our mind is focused on the million things we have to accomplish, the people who are waiting to hear from us, the pins on pinterest; meanwhile, life is passing before our eyes, or before our smartphones. 

This summer when I was in Cape Cod my friends and I decided to have ONE day where we hid our phones and all the clocks.  We made a vow that we would disconnect from the world… a smartphone fast.  What’s so hard about that?!   The day started and we had no idea what time is was… the day ended and still we had no idea what time it was.  The only thing we did know is that we had been absolutely present in every given moment.  Our thoughts seemed to live in peace.  We connected to each other in ways we hadn’t before.  We were forced to have real human interactions.  In the end, we were more than grateful that we buried our smartphones. 

Now, that was on a Sunday, and when Monday rolled around we started the rat race again.  You can’t bury your smartphone and become invisible to the world around you.  But can we have a better sense of awareness?  Can we give the gift of our presence to someone?  By thinking, “The little buzz, phone call, and tweet can wait,” you’re actually saying, “You are important to me!”  Nothing is more important than the person before you or the life around you.  Take it in and you’ll find yourself more alive than ever… present to receive life’s presents. 

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Whenever you meet anyone, no matter how briefly, do you acknowledge their being by giving them your full attention? Or do you reduce them to a means to an end, a mere function or role? A moment of attention is enough. You are no longer acting out a script, you become real."

-Eckhart Tolle