Faith is Starting

"As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, 

to your great delight and benefit."

-Emmanuel Teney

“Sometimes beautiful things come into our lives out of nowhere. We can't always understand them, but we have to trust in them. I know you want to question everything, 

                                          but sometimes it pays to just have a little faith.”

― Lauren Kate, Torment

----

Why is having faith so hard sometimes?  I mean, we’re all taught to have faith in our dreams, to really go for it… “Leap, and the net will appear (John Burroughs)!” Ah, it sounds so beautiful, right?  But then somewhere along the way we start to think, “well yeah, but there’s no way.”  But why?  These aren’t just fancy quotes by fancy people; these are people who have achieved by leaping.  The miracles in their lives are just as real as anything else.

Recently, I’ve really been trying to live in faith that all will be provided if I’m acting in a way that helps others.  Half the time I write about this to keep reminding myself.  When I first decided to come to Ann Arbor with my play MY OTHER VOICE, there was no road map, blueprint, or gps.  However, there was a final destination… yet, plugging in a final destination to your phone and then having it say “network error” is not always the most comforting.  But you know you have to get there, somehow. 

I talk a lot about trusting, believing, the power of positivity, and all of that so now I’m putting my philosophies where my mouth is.  This journey I’m on to make this show happen at the Arthur Miller Theatre is about more than me.  This show is about an entire generation that is just now starting to get a voice…. the young adult cancer population.  We’re starting to be heard and our voices are getting stronger.  I came here with one goal and it will be done… how?  I have no idea!  And I still don’t really.  Every day the Universe, God, whatever you want to call it, is revealing more and more to me. 

Obviously, I came to Ann Arbor with a plan.  I never blindly go into anything without first giving it careful consideration, but already that plan is morphing and shifting into possibilities that I couldn’t have imagined.  I started with this indiegogo campaign, which has already seen enormous support thanks to many of you!  We’ve still got time left to reach our goal and this is only one small piece of the puzzle:  http://bit.ly/VUH67R

The ideas started there and then opportunities started presenting themselves.  Last weekend, I had the great privilege to meet with the President of the University Musical Society (http://www.ums.org), Ken Fischer, over coffee at Starbucks.  The meeting was set up by a chance run in through somehow who knew about my show, which lead to a meeting with him.   UMS has a huge presence at Michigan and is responsible for bringing in major acts like Audra McDonald, The Royal Shakespeare Company, Yo-Yo Ma, and the list goes on.  When I was student here I remember reaping all of the benefits, one of which was sitting three rows back center stage watching Patrick Stuart play Anthony in ANTHONY AND CLEOPATRA!  Well, last weekend the man responsible for all of these wonderful triumphs was talking with me about my show.  Now, before I got here I would have never assumed we would be having coffee discussing my show, but there we were rattling off ideas and possibilities for MY OTHER VOICE.

That meeting then led to a lunch yesterday with the associate producer of the original SWEENY TODD, Judy Dow Rumelhart.  Interestingly, she was my scholarship donor and provided me the opportunity to go here when I was a student.  Did I ever think we’d be sitting down at lunch talking about a show I had written?  No, of course not!  She was merely an untouchable amazing woman I used to write thank you letters to for her support.  Obviously, the letters haven’t stopped but the subject matter has changed. 

Now, finally I’m beginning to talk with a few doctors at the University Hospital who are deeply connected to The Medical Arts Programs at the University of Michigan.  “The Program’s aim is to enhance the ability of medical students, interns, and residents to provide high-quality, humanistic clinical care through experiences and analysis of the musical, dramatic, literary, and visual arts (http://themedicalarts.med.umich.edu).”  BAM!  This is exactly what my show and production company is aiming to do… make better Doctors, residents, and smarter patients.  Did I have any idea that this program existed before I got here?  No! 

And still even now, all of these meetings, upcoming discussions, and talks are seeds being watered.  Yes, more is being revealed but how this puzzle piece is going to come together is still not concrete… and that’s ok.  I’m trusting that that is ok.  Faith is starting.   

Is there something you’ve wanted to do for a while now?  How can you step out in faith?  I’d love to hear! 

----

Power of an Idea... MPOW!

Everything in life starts as an idea.  A small thought that continues to fester in the mind until it must be released.  A seed so small that if planted could grow into a tiny plant or a rain forest.  Everyone has these inspired ideas but many refuse to plant the seed.  Look around you… ideas are everywhere.  The chair you sit on, the computer you’re reading this from, the electricity that’s powering your place.  Ideas are all around and there are truly remarkable when you think that it all started with a thought in someone’s head.  Well, yesterday I had the distinct privilege of seeing one of those tiny ideas manifest into something incredible. 

About four years ago when I was a senior at the University of Michigan I happened to stumble into an outreach program for inner city kids in Detroit.  I had no intention of participating; in fact I had no idea it was even going on!  I walked in that day dressed in sweatpants and a wife-beater ready to do a yoga class, or so I thought; instead, I stumbled into a room full of elementary school kids running around like wild animals.

Immediately one of my professors approached, “Oh, Alex!  I’m so glad you came!  You can help lead one of the groups…” 

Huh?!  “Oh yeah, right… that’s why I’m here…” the lie was probably more than obvious but I jumped right in.  I can’t even remember what happened that day because I was so thrown off guard and probably pissed that I wasn’t going to work out!  All I knew was that forty inner city school students from Detroit were staring at me and the six other volunteers.  Alright, let’s do this!  The idea was simple, “sharing the positive powers of the performing arts to inspire the urban youth of Detroit (http://www.mpow.net).”  Again, an idea.  An idea that had no idea what it would amount to or how much it would impact the lives of others, just an idea with a mission.

Four years later, I witnessed the power of an idea come to life with The Michigan Performance Outreach Workshop.  The seed, planted by Ashley Park, Laura Reed, and Linda Goodrich, grew into a beautiful rainforest where over 110 kids got to swing from the trees.  Four years ago, there were about 40 kids involved cramped into a rehearsal space, now an entire three stories of a giant building were given to the organization, and that rehearsal space was strictly the lunch area catered by Cottage Inn Pizza and Trader Joes.  The six or so volunteers from four years ago had multiplied into a hundred students from every discipline of the School of Music.  If you weren’t apart of MPOW, you knew it, and you were missing out.  And how could you not want to partake?

The 110 kids were bused in from Detroit where they were greeted by a herd of cheering students forming a tunnel like they were football stars running onto the field.  Their field was a majestic performance room where the game began with a dance troupe, a band, clowns, singers, classical chamber musicians, jazz ensembles, one woman shows, and even a boy band number set to One Directions, “What Makes You Beautiful.”  And it was beautiful… kids were crying, cheering, and smiling from ear to ear.  Then, all of the kids broke off into smaller groups where they learned how to make films, dance, sing, act, communicate, interact, and explore their creativity!  I was shocked to say the least and they were too.

An entire community of STUDENTS made this all happen… again, students!  There was hardly any faculty supervision, illustrating the power of community and that anyone can make a difference.  Many of the students from Detroit had never stepped on a college campus, let alone been exposed to anything artistic.  Some of them just wanted a free lunch.  Some of them just wanted a chance to break out of their shell.  Regardless of what they wanted, they all left with something, as did every person involved with the event.  This is what it’s all about, using our gifts to help others, and we all have gifts that can truly change peoples lives.  After MPOWs event some kid is going to go home and have an idea after an idea that was inspired by someone else’s idea.  If any one of those kids start planting their own seeds who knows what will grow from their gardens.  

How did MPOW affect you yesterday?  Do you have a seed waiting to be planted?  I'd love to hear about it in the comments!   

Footage from yesterday:

2011 MPOW Event:

---

 "If at first, the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it." - Albert Einstein

"If you do not express your own original ideas, if you do not listen to your own being, you will have betrayed yourself." - Rollo May

“Feel the Fear and Do It Anyways.”

My journey in Columbus has ended.  THE LITTLE DOG LAUGHED to see such sport, and everyone from cast, crew, to audiences alike shared in the poignant hilarity.  When I left New York to do this show, an inkling to re-focus my energy into something different kept nudging me.  Obviously I’m still an actor and writer but something was calling while I was in Columbus and visiting Ann Arbor.  People were thrown in my path offering new routes to where I’m ultimately headed... as if the Universe was whispering, “Listen...” So, I did.    

And sooooo… drum roll please haha… I’m going to be back in Ann Arbor for the next 6 months or so to produce my show MY OTHER VOICE.  While I was visiting Ann Arbor during my weeks off I kept having these chance encounters with different key individuals in the artistic and health industry in and around Michigan.  Specifically, a big health movement that’s going on called, “Get Healthy Michigan” (http://gethealthymichigan.com).  This movement is one that I’m very passionate about: holistic approaches, energy healing practices, nutritional advisement, and learning how to shy away from pharmaceuticals. People are sick, suffering, and confused… yet, there are healing practices out there that many are unaware of and it’s time to reveal them.  I became immersed with the build up of energy around this topic but was stuck as to how I could help.  Then chance meetings with key professors at Michigan also started to nudge me in a different direction.  Well, two days later I get a call from the man running all of this asking if I wanted to help by producing my play in Ann Arbor.  He had seen MY OTHER VOICE in Columbus and thought it was a great way to inspire a movement.  But wait!?  I’m supposed to go back to New York!  I can’t just go to Ann Arbor!  My play has to be done in New York!  New York, New York, New York…   

My fears started protesting immediately: fear of embarking on something new, fear of making the “right” choice, and fear of failing.  So for about two days my mind went to war, weighing all the pros and cons, the logistics, and all around feasibility.  But my heart was telling me to go… my soul was crying out, go Alex… face the fear!  And when my pre-determined notions of New York started to dissipate I realized it was not only the perfect timing but also made perfect sense. 

I have an amazing community in Ann Arbor full of artistic people who are willing to help, the story is set here, the local Hospital is a great springboard, and ultimately I’m doing everything I’ve always wanted… writing, acting, performing… just not in New York, or not yet.  I haven’t really written about this but as most of you know my voice is what used to define me.  Everyday my thoughts were consumed with singing, and honestly they still are.  But a giant shift happened when I lost it all and I went from a narcissistic performer to one who now realizes that everyone in this world is blessed with certain gifts, and those gifts should be used to better humanity.   Somewhere along the way I lost that clarity, then when I lost my voice, I started to believe all the Doctors who were saying, “you may never sing again.”  Again, fear.  But then I reminded myself of the power of the mind, shifted my focus, and started telling myself, I can sing… I will sing for other people.  Once my mind committed to the affirmation, my body began to respond.  Of course it’s a process, but I am singing again! 

So not only will I be here producing the world premiere of MY OTHER VOICE but I’ll also be joining the class of 2013 for the Senior Showcase this year.  I’ll finally have the chance to showcase in New York and will also have a wonderful show that’s been produced as well.  Now, I’m not expecting the Showcase to dramatically change my life, it’s not about that… it’s about accomplishing something that was taken away from me.  It’s about moving past Doctors telling me I’d never sing again and proving once and for all that you can do anything you put your mind to.  The expectations are unimportant, but the clarity, focus and peace of mind are.  

So Ann Arbor, here I come… Again!  But this time not as a selfish student only concerned with himself: instead, as a vehicle of hope, inspiration, and knowledge.    

---

From Susan Jeffers, “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyways:” 

“Truth 1. The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow.

Truth 2. The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it.

Truth 3. The only way to feel better about myself is to go out… and do it.

Truth 4. Not only am I going to experience fear whenever I’m on unfamiliar territory, but so is everyone else.

Truth 5. Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness.”